To start off with, here's a huge fucking thank you if you are reading this. It means you get it. You've been paying attention. So thanks.

Here's my THOUGHT OF THE DAY: CAPS LOCK CAN BE ANNOYING BUT IT CAN ALSO GET YOUR ATTENTION.

Is it ever OK to use CAPS LOCK?

Please discuss in the comments below.

Tomorrow, let's talk about sweat pants

A little Rant

I work part time in a convenience store. I am Randal. People ask me for cigarettes and lottery tickets and I give them to them. It's very glamorous. What you may not realize when you go to a store is that the entity behind the counter is also a person. I have a family and a whole bunch of bills. I don't work in the store because I am subhuman. I do it because I have to. Here are a few tips to make the transaction a little smoother.

Don't come up to the counter and say "gimme". If you do, I will use my magical powers to insure that the lotto tickets you buy are losers.

Don't stare at my tits. I quick glance is fine, but really, you men act like you have never seen a pair of boobies.

Don't ask me if I am reading Fifty Shades of Gray. I'm not and I don't want to discuss S&M with a fifty year old man dealing with his own yellowing shades of gray.

Don't linger in the store walking around staring at everything on the shelves for more than 10 minutes. I think some people are completely baffled by the concept of a convenience store. If you need help, just ask. I will be happy to inform you where we keep the unhealthy menu options for your last minute dinner plans.

Do bring your ID if you are buying cigs, booze, or lotto. I get it, you are a superstar in your little social circle and everyone knows how old you are. Sadly, I still have to card you if I don't know you. Tell you what, you give me the $1000 up front to cover the fines and lost sales for selling to you while underage and I'll look the other way. If not, don't be a douche to me because I am actually doing my job.

Don't ask me what tickets are "hot". If I knew that I wouldn't be working for minimum wage in this shit hole.

Let's work together to make this transaction a little smoother. I want to help you, I really do

Freakin Weekend

I haven't blogged in a while. I don't think I am the only one who thinks blogging is a little pointless. Sometimes I feel that it is just a self serving way to get attention. But, some people have been asking for dating stories. Guess what?! I don't have any! If you know me, you know I have been out of work for the last two months. At this point, finding a job is my main focus. I have dabbled with dating. I had two scheduled dates last week. Guess how many dates I actually went on last week? NONE! Here's why.



I meet one guy online and we went out on a date two weeks ago. He was really nice and a great kisser. The problem was that he texted me constantly. When I didn't reply right away I would get second and third texts asking why I hadn't responded to the first text. This is a classic sign of controlling behavior. This is a technique used by men and women to fast track a relationship and create a false closeness that doesn't exist yet. Let's face it, after one 3 hour date you can't possibly know someone so well that you think it's ok to send text after text asking where are you, what are you doing. I am seeing this more and more. This is a warning sign and it should be taken seriously.



The second guy is an Army recruiter. He is a nice guy. Not a super good looking guy, but he had a nice personality, so I figured what the hell. We made plans a week in advance and I confirmed the date the day before. About an hour before I was supposed to meet him he told me that a bunch of other people were going to join us, including his sister. I went into a panic. I like people, I really do. I consider myself out going, but even I have my limits! I think it was pretty thoughtless of him not to tell me this information in advance. I politely bowed out of the date even though I was completely dressed and literally getting ready to leave the house when he texted (yes texted) me this information. My dream date does not include my dates sister.



I used to be the girl who would go out on a date just to get out and meet new people. Now I am the girl who would rather spend time with good friends and family. I had a fantastic weekend doing just that.

Men are like fish? More like mailboxes...there is another one down the road

A lot of people tell me that they have had good luck dating online. I think I have only had 5 dates out of 10 years of online dating. I don't think I am being picky, but I wanted to let you decide. I am better than this, right?

My Boys

All day long I have to look at men doing things like this.

This could be part of the reason that I haven't been interested dating lately.

The Matrix

I took a break from dating. I got back together with my ex and that just didn't work out. I have been laying low and avoiding the whole dating thing. But come on, that's BORING! So, I set myself up on a blind date.

I talk to this guy on the phone for work all the time. Seemed like a nice normal guy. He has a job, that's something, right? I knew he had kids (still unsure if this is a plus in general) but I figured what the heck? At least I'd make a new friend. He tells me that he wants to hit Twin River and that he's paying. I am thinking this sounds better than my plan to eat the last of the cheese from the fridge and bum beers off my neighbors.

The first thing I noticed was the denim button up shirt. The second thing I notice is that he has a tattoo on the back of his shaved bald head. After about 20 minutes of trying to figure out what the hell it was, I get a full on view of the word "MATRIX". I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I mean, how wasted do you have to be to get the word matrix tattooed on the back of your skull? Not that I have never had a tattoo that I regretted. I have. But I got it fixed. And it wasn't on the back of my skull!

I put my judgement aside and continued on with the date. Mostly because I knew I would have to scrape some green stuff off the cheese in my fridge order to go ahead with my original plan. Partly because I was dumb enough to let him pick me up, so I didn't have my own car. I have to stress here that I knew this guy and he has references, so I wasn't worried about being kidnapped.

So he tells me that his cousin is coming out with us. And maybe a girl, let's call her "Judy". We go pick up the cousin and he invites us in for a quick drink. A quick drink turned into 6. His cousin is actually a really nice guy. Would have been more fun if he wasn't 50! In the course of conversation I find out that "Judy" is my dates ex wife...and that they are not even divorced yet. I almost wished she had joined us. It might have made for better blogging.

We never made it to the casino. It's ok, though. I was offered some tasty snacks, including pretzels, peanut butter and apricot jelly served on ritz crackers, pickles, & Drakes cherry pie. It was just like visiting my grandfather. All that was missing was the french vanilla ice cream and a cribbage board.

I have to laugh at this, right?!

Not really a date, but...

I was invited to go out and meet someone in a group setting, so this doesn’t really count as a date. I came straight from work, looking fantabulous in my Red Sox cap & my Ben Franklin Savings Bank t shirt. Talk about making a good impression! But whatever, I am not so full of myself that I have to dress like Mariah Carrey every time I leave the house. On second thought, I don’t think I have ever left the house dressed like Mariah.

So I get there and my friends were playing pool. I was introduced to John* and my first impression was that he was too old. So I shook off the negative thought and did my best to be myself and make good conversation. You know, asking questions and actually listening to his answers. It felt a bit forced, but he did seem very nice. He was kind of cute, had a nice smile.

So I relax a little. I start telling my jokes, doing my shtick that I always do. I could tell right away that he wasn’t really sure how to take me. Go figure! He didn’t stay very long, I guess he has some crazy ass job with weird hours. He never asked me for my phone number. That was fine, but after he left, my friend said he wanted my number and could she give it to him. I said it would be fine, but I really think it says something that he didn’t ask me himself. If a guy is too shy to even ask for my number, there is little hope that he will be able to keep up with the social side of my personality. Right?

Oh well, I think I am hitting the Lucky Dog tonight, so maybe I will have a better story for you tomorrow