I work part time in a convenience store. I am Randal. People ask me for cigarettes and lottery tickets and I give them to them. It's very glamorous. What you may not realize when you go to a store is that the entity behind the counter is also a person. I have a family and a whole bunch of bills. I don't work in the store because I am subhuman. I do it because I have to. Here are a few tips to make the transaction a little smoother.
Don't come up to the counter and say "gimme". If you do, I will use my magical powers to insure that the lotto tickets you buy are losers.
Don't stare at my tits. I quick glance is fine, but really, you men act like you have never seen a pair of boobies.
Don't ask me if I am reading Fifty Shades of Gray. I'm not and I don't want to discuss S&M with a fifty year old man dealing with his own yellowing shades of gray.
Don't linger in the store walking around staring at everything on the shelves for more than 10 minutes. I think some people are completely baffled by the concept of a convenience store. If you need help, just ask. I will be happy to inform you where we keep the unhealthy menu options for your last minute dinner plans.
Do bring your ID if you are buying cigs, booze, or lotto. I get it, you are a superstar in your little social circle and everyone knows how old you are. Sadly, I still have to card you if I don't know you. Tell you what, you give me the $1000 up front to cover the fines and lost sales for selling to you while underage and I'll look the other way. If not, don't be a douche to me because I am actually doing my job.
Don't ask me what tickets are "hot". If I knew that I wouldn't be working for minimum wage in this shit hole.
Let's work together to make this transaction a little smoother. I want to help you, I really do
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